Stupidity Sightings

Dumb Signs

At the recycling center in Greenwood, South Carolina, on Earth Day
  Happy Earth Day! (closed)

Outside a church in South Carolina...
  WHEN GOD TOOTS, WE'LL SCOOT!!!

Outside a church in Columbia, South Carolina...
  WHY DOES BAD THNIGS HAPEN?

Outside Melbourne, Australia...
  Koalas drive carefully

In the Free Clinic, Greenwood, South Carolina...
  Please take client folders in numberical order.

In a Majorcan shop...
  English well speaking / Here speeching American.

At a Rome doctor's office...
  Specialist in women and other diseases.

In a Moscow hotel...
  If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Swiss inn...
  Special today -- no ice cream.

In a Rome laundry...
  Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop...
  Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

From a Polish hotel menu...
  Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

In a Moscow hotel...
  You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In a Japanese hotel...
  You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In an Athens hotel...
  Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Paris elevator...
  Please leave your values at the front desk...

In a Belgrade elevator...
  To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Leipzig elevator...
  Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Bucharest hotel...
  The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Tokyo hotel...
  Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.

Above a Shanghai drinking fountain...
  This water has been passed by Health Inspectors.

At a grocery...
  BiLo Quality Foods

Seen in a London bathrooom...
  Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.

On a repair shop door...
  We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)

Seen in a field...
  The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

In a safari park...
  Elephants Please Stay In Your Car

In a London office...
  After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

In a London department store...
  Bargain Basement upstairs.

In a laundromat...
  Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

At a propane filling station...
  Tank heaven for little grills.

In a funeral parlor...
  Drive carefully. We'll wait.

At a car dealership...
  The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment

At an endoscopy office...
  To expedite your visit, please back in.

At a gynecologist's office...
  Dr. Jones, at your cervix.

On a sign in a bank...
  Audio cassettes are available for the blind.

Outside a High School Gymnasium...
  Word Of The Day: Self Discipline

No introduction needed...
  Body Shaper's Toning Salon -- Open House! Free coffee and donuts.

Somewhere in England...
  Do not throw stones at this sign.

On the grounds of a public school...
  No trespassing without permission.

On a roller coaster...
  Watch your head.

In a New York medical building...
  Mental Health Prevention Center

On a shopping mall marquee...
  Archery Tournament -- Ears pierced.

In a cemetery...
  Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.

On the roadside...
  When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.

At a memorial...
  Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.

On a construction site...
  Restricted to unauthorized personnel.

Outside a church...
  Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law -- Sisters of Mercy

Taped to a diner cash register...
  Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.

  Hey! Yeah, you! Anything you want to add?