Stupidity Sightings

Dumb Dear Abby Letters

Dear Abby,
  You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he IS a doctor. What now?

Dear Abby,
  My mother is mean and short-tempered. Do you think she is going through her mental pause?

Dear Abby,
  Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't, and he did it.

Dear Abby,
  My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two- and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby,
  I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now, how do I get out?

Dear Abby,
  Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Abby,
  I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive, and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby,
  I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is even his.

Dear Abby,
  What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR?

Dear Abby,
  A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher, and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

  Hey! Yeah, you! Anything you want to add?