Stupidity Sightings

Dumb Classifieds

This is a bonified offer.

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.

Joining Nudist Colony! Must sell washer and dryer. $300.

Exercise Equipment: Queen size mattress & box springs. $175.

American Flag. 60 stars. Pole included. $100.

Free: farm kittens. Ready to eat.

Nice parachute. Never opened. Used once. Slightly stained.

Nordic Track. $300. Hardly Used. Call Chubbie.

FREE! 1 can of pork & beans with purchase of 3 BR 2 Bath Home.

Full-sized mattress. 20 yr. warranty. Like New. Slight urine smell.

83 Toyota Hunchback - $2000.

Cows, Calves, never bred. Also 1 gay bull for sale.

2 Wire-Mesh Butchering Gloves. 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger. Pair $15.

Snow blower for sale. Only used on snowy days.

Amana Washer. $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.

German Shepard. 85 lb. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.

Found: Dirty White Dog. Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a reward.

Free Puppies. Part Boxer, Part stupid dog.

Free Puppies. 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

Free Yorkshire Terrier. 8 years old. Hateful little dog.

For sale: antique desk for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

6-foot python with aquarium and lights, $150. Baby bed with mattress, $80.

Auto repair. Try us once and you'll never go anywhere again.

Used cars. Why go anywhere else and be cheated? Come here first!

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Three-year-old teacher needed for preschool.

Dog for sale. Eats anything and is fond of children.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

Wanted: Widower with school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.

Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard to find person.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

For Sale: Three canaries of undermined sex. Great Dames for sale.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

Semi-annual after-Christmas Sale!

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals and smacks included.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Girl wanted for magician's assistant in cutting-off-head illusion. Salary and Blue Cross.

Avoid being ripped off! Send $5.00 to...

Lost - one small poodle. Neutered, like one of the family.

For rent: six-room hated apartment.

Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

Are you illiterate? Then read this!

  Hey! Yeah, you! Anything you want to add?